To School in Person or Virtual? How we answered the question of 2020

As we sit here in October many of us are seeing the COVID 19 numbers increase daily. We see hot spots going back to a modified stage 2 and we watch with disbelief as the President of the US gets into a confined motor vehicle with others, while knowingly infected and contagious with the virus (is it just me that sometimes questions if we are living in an altered reality?) Okay, let's stop going down this rabbit hole before I truly feel like Alice in Wonderland.

Looking at the past few months, I realize that I did not post whether or not we were sending our daughter to school. Me, who is so open about everything, kept silent. There are many reasons but primarily I just felt everyone needed time to choose their path. The decision is such a personal one, based on information you have, boundaries you feel comfortable with and following your heart to do what is rest for you and your family. I understand both sides of the coin and truly support my friends who have gone both ways.

That being said, I have been told that I shocked many by our choice to send our daughter to school. Let's face it, I am a trained teacher with qualifications to teach primary, junior, intermediate and senior grades. I have 10 years of teaching experience, even teaching the grade my daughter is in now. Could I have taught her at home? definitely. Did the spring where everything landing on the parents work for us? definitely not. Balancing being a working mom, a medical mom/research partner and suddenly having everyone home 24/7 was wonderful and daunting all at once. It was a relief from a medical standpoint to have everyone home safe, to know that the world was learning the measure like handwashing, temperature taking, isolation and mask wearing that you have been doing for years now, but daunting to try and keep going with so much to do. I had to put out the key fires first and when it is a matter of survival, having my daughter listen to an audiobook of Nancy Drew was much easier than me sitting with her and getting her to answer comprehension questions where she had to work on reading, spelling, sentence structure and typing all at once.

The decision for September loomed all summer. I was not for it at first. If my youngest catches the virus, it would be fatal. That's the truth. You know the ads - wear a mask for me - yeah he could be the poster child for that. Neurological impairment, trach and chronic lung disease. This virus is not for him! You add on top of that I was a teacher so I know however you may want to say you are keeping kids clean and healthy, the reality is school is where we all share germs and viruses. The moment she steps on the bus, our bubble is burst.

So, why is she going to school? Let's start with the doctors I talked to - I attended many workshops with doctors from McMaster and Sick Kids who specialize in infectious diseases, complex care and tracheostomies. I learned about the burgeoning field of viral load in children and how this indicates why they tend to catch, transmit and bear the virus much differently and much less than adult bodies, I learned about fomites and the longevity and transmission of the virus, I learned about safety precautions and I was able to ask all my countless questions (thank you to every single doctor who was so patient with me and to all the other parents and caregivers in these meeting who let me ask so much!!!)

Would covid be fatal for my youngest? the eight ball says yes; but the same can be said for RSV (which he is now too old to qualify to be vaccinated against) and the flu, both of these would undoubtedly end us up in the hospital and the outcome could be tragic. Does my daughter need to be in school? yes. For her sake, to be with peers, to get away from her often very intense homelife, to have the support of a teacher whose job it is to focus on her education and not another job that is calling to them as each email notification comes through, she truly needs to be there.

So every day my nine year old daughter goes off to school, enjoys the independence she is gaining while away from us, and comes home to begin her new after school routine of putting her bag on a special hook, putting school clothes directly in the hamper to be washed and showering before doing anything else. Has she grown tired of this routine - oh we all have. But is she still happy going to school, yes.

When my husband and I made the choice to keep our youngest (and no I don't mean that in a weird way - we literally had to choose), we made a pact that life would be about quality over quantity. Do I understand these parents who bunker down and try to avoid the virus season like the plague - you bet I do. Do we try to be cautious and proactive? damn straight. But we live our lives, each and every day, as much as possible to the fullest. Today was a blessing William and I were not supposed to have, so we'll take it for what it is and do what is right as a family for all of us. Do your best and do what you feel is right for you and yours - no one can ask for more.