From the Heart... Why I choose to blog!

It has been over a year since I wrote on my blog. It wasn't because it was boring around here or that I didn't want to share, it was that some messages were sent to me by a loved one that cut me to my core and made me question if I should continue to talk about my kids in public. Before these messages I was thrilled to have an opportunity to share my voice and my thoughts for other parents going through similar journeys and perhaps to help those who haven't travelled this path to catch a glimpse of what it is like in the trenches. I don't write to gain attention, but as a way to help. Those that know me, know that is kind of my thing.

Unfortunately out of a place of pain and anger, someone I care about deeply texted me "I'm so disappointed in you and the way you parade William around for attention. It's so very sad all around...My friends have felt so sorry for you and William until they realized how very sad his situation (is)" It hit me hard and has taken me a long time to process. Another mother that I was in a focus group with had shared that they never talk about their child in public or with many others as they don't want to "pimp their child out" whether it be for attention or support of some sort.

I get where both of these individuals are coming from and I have taken a long time to think about how I feel about these sentiments. All I keep going back to is those first few months in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) when we felt so alone. We had a lot of support from family and friends, don't get me wrong I am eternally grateful for each and every one of them, but we didn't know anyone else who had gone on a journey like this and felt like fish out of water. I was desperate to know families who had been there, gone through this, who just got it, and I begged for the hospital to connect me with them. As I gathered my new tribe, the weight on my shoulders lifted just slightly and I found myself connected to an incredible group of individuals carrying for incredible children.

That is why I blog. That is why I take my kids everywhere and don't hesitate to share with strangers about my amazing children.

What Mama wouldn't be proud of these guys?! and if I can reach just one other parent and tell them "just breathe, take one step at a time, we've got your back" and take a little bit of the weight from them, then I will feel like I have achieved my purpose.